Opression
by CaCoPhOnY Of ScReAmS
Summary: It kills me to love you, so I hate you." --summary inside.GrimmjowxUlquiorra
1. Chapter 1

**Oh my god, I'm doing a Bleach fanfiction. Never thought I'd see the day...**

**Warnings: Angst, Slash/Yaoi, Language.**

**Pairings: Implied for now, but future GrimmjowxUlquiorra**

**Summary: "It kills me to love you, So I hate you." Grimmjow just can't take it anymore. Ulquiorra's gone, and part of him is too. The only thing he can hope for now is death, right?**

**Disclaimer: Evil-Neji does most certainly NOT own Bleach**

**-----------------------------------------------------Prologue-------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

My name is Grimmjow Jaegerjaques. Espade Sexta. Call me what you want, but that's not the point here. No, the point it that I'm breaking. Slowly breaking apart on the inside. Underneath my vulgar shell, underneath my outward appearances, I'm dying. Shattered and lying on the ground without anyone to help me. And it's all _my_ fault, dammit! I fucking did this to _myself_! Some twisted attempt at redemption turned into an unintentional scuicide.

I'm scared and I'm fragile and I'm pathetic. Why?

I killed Ulquiorra.

No, let me correct myself. I didn't kill him, I trapped him in an alternate realm. I think that that bothers me more then it would if I had killed him. Though I don't think he particularily cares. Actually, he probably would, but he wouldn't piss and moan about it like I would. No, He'd just keep it all bottled up or state it in a way where you wouldn't be able to tell if he was really bothered or not. That was one of the things I loved about him.

Yes, I loved Ulquiorra, and I'm being forced to see that now. I don't know when it started. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I didn't even know what it was at first. All I knew was that I wanted him. I wanted to be near him, I wanted I wanted to hear his deep voice saying my name, and I hated myself for it. I hated myself and I hated him for making me hate myself, so I did everything in my power to stop myself from showing anything other than hostility toward him. It worked, but not so well as it could have. I can still remember how enraged I'd get whenever he would state something stoically, and I'd yell and take it out on him, instead of myself for how I always found myself captured by his alluring was everything that I wasn't and in turn, he made me whole.

Please, don't give me any crap about how 'guys don't belong with other guys' because back then and even right now, I don't really care. It's not even really like I swing that way overall, Ulquiorra was just special. To me, anyways. I don't think that I'd really have cared what the other Arrancars wouls have thought, as long as I could have had him. I wanted to embrace him and have him talk to me without me hiding underneath my protective facade. He was beautiful, too, with soft black hair and haunting green eyes that looked at the world with perpetual indifferance and sorrow; I don't think I'd ever seen him smile. His skin was like white porcelean that looked as though it might break if you so much as touched it, but that would have been a grave misunderstanding. If I knew one thing above all about Ulquiorra, It was that he was damned strong, worthy of being the 4th Espada.

I'm rambling aren't I? Damn, I feel like such a girl right now, but I can't stop what I'm feeling; I can only warp it to hurt others.

Do you remember when Aizen sent Ulquiorra and Yammy to the Human World to search for that orange-haired Soul Reaper? I got really fucking pissed then. I don't know why. I think that maybe either I was worried, or I was jealous that I couldn't have gone rather than Yammy. Then after they left I was just so confused that I cried once I was alone. Next thing I knew I was yelling at Ulquiorra, calling him weak. _as though I had the right to say that..._ Then I stormed off to Karakura Town to try and kill the cause of my episode. After that Tosen cut my arm off ,saying that 'my raid lacked purpose'. Not that that bastard would ever understand.

And then later, when I fought Kurosaki and that bowl-cut Visored? Ulquiorra appeared and grabbed my Zanpakuto. I swore I was about to yelp like a little dog when i registered that he was standing so close to me. I remember my breath hitching in my throat for a split-second. Then I replaced my foreign feelings for spite and I growled at him. I was just such a pathetic bastard that couldn't handle my feelings.

I still can't. But at least I can face them now.

Before it was like I...was trying to keep my longing under control by shoving it to the back of my mind whenever I could. Convincing myself that I had myself under control by overriding it with hatred. What's that word called again? Right, opression.

But nothing of what I've finally accepted feeling is going to change what I've already done. I thought that if I got rid of Ulquiorra, I'd stop being such a wreak. That's why I did it. But now I'm almost sure that I destroyed what little left of me that was intact. That's why I'm saying this, because i know that I don't have it in me to keep it bottled up anymore. It's also why I'm doing what I'm about to do.

That's why, right now, I'm leaving Hueco Mundo and heading for the Human World. I'll go to Karakura Town. Maybe, hopefully that Kurosaki Soul Reaper will be there. Maybe he'll kill me, and free me from this living hell.

Because as it is, living is more painfull than any death, without Ulquiorra.

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**So, you like? read and review and tell me what you thought.(next chapter should be longer, it was longer on lined paper, I swear!)**

**Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors in this story, but my Wordpad doesn't have spellcheck.**

**And yes, this will be a GrimmjowxUlquiorra fanfic later on, so if you don't like Yaoi, DON"T READ IT!**


	2. Chapter 1 Won't let it out

**Yaaay for fast updates! I feel so damned special for getting this done.**

**Okay, back to the drill. I'm assuming that if you've made it this far, you don't have a problem with the story, but if you do, Don't read it!**

**And plenty thanks to Twisted Affection for the review!**

**Evil-Neji does not own Bleach, 'tis tragic...**

**--------------------------------------------------Chapter 1--------------------------------------------**

I surveyed my surroundings as I stepped out of my dimensional void, floating over what I knew as none other than Karakura Town. Blue eyes drifting listlessly over the quiet town, searching for a Soul Reaper --Or, if all else fails, maybe I could impale myself on a telephone pole? Sighing tiredly I drifted down to stand on the dirt street. It seemed I'd arrived 'under cover of night' here, which of course was not what I was aiming for. I felt as though I should just kill myself where I stand, but I don't think I have the gall for that at the moment; I've been feeling rather drained. Hell, I just told you my worst secret, the one thing that's been plagueing me all of my time as an Arrancar, you can't honestly expect me to get over it just like that. And I'd never see the one I needed again when it was all my fault.

The street was dark and deserted, not even one of those tall light fixtures that humans line their main roads with. Hesitantly, I opened my Perquisa to their maximum. Giving myself a wan smile, I layed a hand on the hilt of my Pantera, knowing that anyone with spiritual pressure would find me now. I counted... only three. Kurosaki, Kuchiki and a Quincy.

As if in response to a call, I felt Kurosaki's spiritual pressure light up like a fire, obviously having left his gigai. The Kuchiki girl with the ice Zanpakuto following right behind him. I sighed, attempting to place my usual smug grin back on my features, but I hadn't enough vigor to do much more than glare and draw my own Zanpakuto as the two Soul Reapers appeared on the scene.

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaques!" Kurosaki roared, leveling his Zanpakuto to my chest, though he and the lady Reaper still stood several feet away.

"Likewise, Soul Reaper." I found myself returning, though my tone left much to be desired.

Obviously Ichigo heard the edge of sorrow to my voice, as his blade lowered a good five inches and a look of slight hesitation and confusion crossed his face. I mentally scolded myself, I wanted him to kill me, and fast. The huge pain in my chest was dead set on making my breathing heavy and erratic, and I could only guess what I looked like right now, and it wasn't anything good. I already knew that my eyes were red and puffy from crying earlier, and that would only be more prominent with my blue irises rimmed with blue tattoos, but I'd just assumed that the darkness would hide them.

"The Hell's wrong with you?" He demanded of me, obvoiusly deciding to dismiss what I'd said, or assuming it was a trap and I was leading him on.

Clearing my throat, I managed to regain most of my cocky tone, "Nothing at all. I just figured that I'd had enough of boredom and you're becoming a bit of an eyesore!" I declaired with as much enthusiasm as I could manage. Drawing Pantera from it's sheathe, I leveled it to his head, "So let's not mess around and make this quick!"

I lunged foreward, swiping my Zanpakuto out and across, but Kurosaki stepped back even further, bringing his sword out to meet mine. Sparks flew as metals connected and I growled half-heartedly, wishing with whatever was left of me that he'd just hurry up and kill me. He Flash Stepped behind me, bringing his huge blade down on my exposed shoulder, but it left only a thin, shallow cut as it deflected off of my Hierro. Though it did leave a nice rip in my shirt. Virtually all of the Arrancars clothing gets torn quickly; it's much weaker than our iron skin.

Slashing backwards, I managed to knick the egde of his pant, but it was all cloth and no flesh. Suddenly, Kurosaki lifted his Zanpakuto high over his head, then crashing it down, sending wave after wave of intense and destructive aura at me.

"Getsuga Tensho!" He roared, attacking again in the selfsame way.

Without even realizing it, I jumped out of the line of fire to land on the top branch of a nearby tree. I inwardly cursed my well-trained reflexes, _'no!'_ I told myself, _'I'm trying to kill myself, here! It would help if my fucking instincts didn't kick in!'_ I leaped back down, once again exchanging rapid blows with the orange-haired Reaper. It wasn't easy making it seem like I actually cared to fight in my state, but if I used my Shikai, my ears and body language would clearly depict how forlorn I was feeling right now.

Ichigo brought his sword down hard on my left forearm, but even that wasn't enough to sever the limb, instead leaving only an inch-deep gash that oozed blood and stung like Hell. In the back of my mind I noted that I couldn't keep this up much longer, I had been dangerously close to breaking down before the fight had even begun, and my control was only waning as time passed by.

"What's the matter?!" The Shinigami yelled with a hint of cocky sarcasm in his tone, once again pointing his sword at me. My mentality took that as a hard blow against me.

I didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer, however. Instead generating a Cero in my fist, any self-control I had been using didn't apply to me as I shot it, incinerating a large swath of land in front of me. i knew I hadn't hit Kurosaki, seeing as he now stood with his blade pressed threateningly at my neck. I closed my eyes, wating for the bite of the metal to pierce my flesh, but nothing came. A wave of desperation washed over me as I realized that he had no intention of ending my life then and there, and I fell to my knees, much to his surprise.

"What the Hell is this about?" He said loudly, not too sure what to make of my pathetic state.

"Kill Me!" I screamed at the two people, looking through blurred eyes as tears welled up, "Kill me goddamnit! Can't you do anything right!?" I hated myself so much right now. I never let other people see me cry, I've always been too proud for that, but at the moment everything seemed to dissolve as I sat there on the ground, shoulders heaving with my silent sobs as I reached for my own Zanpakuto, intent on ending my own life if no one would end it for me. Unfortunately, my attempt was shot as the black-haired Soul Reaper put a foot on the blade, weighing it to the ground.

"Mind telling us what's going on?" She stated in a dangerous tone. Cocky bitch.

I couldn't bring myself to answer any questions. My throat was getting raw and I just wanted to die. I, Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, was on the ground crying in plain view of two Soul reapers I'd come close to killing on more than one occasion. And I didn't care. As far as I was concerned, all of Hueco Mundo could see me cry right now, my damage had been done. I foolishly let my mind wander to Ulquiorra, wanting more than anything to let his calm voice quell my hysterics, but only succeeding in worsening my sobs. Ulquiorra was gone, I reminded myself, he's gone from mine and everyone elses lives and I was the one who put him there!

The girls' voice jerked my from my thoughts of self-pity, "Bakudo #1: Sai!" she commanded, and with a sharp jerk my hands were twisted roughly behind my back, the force of the Kido keeping them locked firmly in place. Not that I cared, everything seemed so much duller in my current state. I didn't care what they did to me, I wasn't going to fight back even if I had the strength

"What do you think....should.....with him?" The Kuchiki girl's voice went in and out of comprehension as my mind did the same.

"Dunno....seemed different........wrong? Keep him....watch....until we can.....with him."

If there was anything further to their conversation, I don't think I heard it. I slowly gave in to my mental and physical fatigue, letting sleep get the better of me as I cried myself into dreams that I knew would only bring me more pain when I woke up. Without Ulquiorra...

...But nothing mattered anymore.

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**That was longer than the last chapter, right? I hope so...**

**Anyway, some slight translations for the Japanese/Spanish words (that I got from my Shonen Jump)**

**Perquisa- detection nerves**

**Pantera- Panther King(grimmy's sword)**

**Hierro- Iron Skin**

**Getsuga Tensho- Moonfang heaven-piercer**

**Shikai- zanpakuto release state**

**Cero- Doom Blast**

**Read and Review? Pretty please? *has cookies***


	3. Chapter 2 Nothing to lose

**Yessssss!!!! 3 updates in 3 days! I feel so special right now!**

**And just an FYI, the chapter after this might not come out for a few days, due to school and my homework. **

**And, I, absolutely positutely do NOT own bleach.**

**(many thanks to all who reviewed and/or favourited!)**

**------------------------------------------------Chapter 2------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

A ragged breath escaped my lips as I opened my eyes, unaware of where I was or what I was doing. Tears and sleep harassed my vision and made it difficult to discern anything other than it was dark, I was chained by my ankle, and I still had that paralysis Kido on me. Uopn further inspection, my Zanpakuto was also missing, damnit. Nothing that I could use to escape or put myself out of my misery.

My hazed eyes were dragged to the side as I heard a door open and three sets of footsteps making their way to where I was bound. One bent down to look me in the face, his eyes shadowed and a folded up fan pressed to his lips.

"Good morning!" He said jokingly. Sadistic bastard. There's nothing even remotely 'good' about this. Try fucking excrutiating. But at least I recognized him now, he was one of the two that had attacked Ulquiorra and Yammy on their first trip here. I felt a low growl rise in my throat whan I thought that he'd tried to kill Ulquiorra. What a hypocrite I am, getting pissed off at someone else after what I'd done...

"Grimmjow," Kurosaki looked down at me, "What the Hell did you come here for? Were you planning on destroying the Town?" He was in his gigai, but he didn't seem to care that he was technically vulnerable, though it's not like I could actually hurt him.

"Che. It's none of your concern." I stated glumly, not bothering to make eye contact. I hated him almost as much as I hated myself, for him not just ending my life like any normal Soul Reaper. Why did everything I wanted fuck up in the end? I wanted Ulquiorra--but I could never have him. I wanted, no, I _want_ my death--and even that had been taken from me. This is what I hate about humans, they're always kept from doing the sensible thing by their goddamned emotions. Emotions that kept getting the better of me, as it is.

"I don't think that's the answer he's looking for." The bastard with the hat--Urahara, I remembered, Kisuke Urahara--said, looking at me from under the brim of his striped hat. He gave me a warning glare, speaking again: "When an Adjuhas-level Arrancar comes to town, we've come to realize that their intentions are hardly honourable. Won't you elaborate, Espada?"

"No, I won't." I growled huffily, baring my sharp teeth menacingly at the shopkeeper. I decided right then and there that he was _definitely_ not my favourite of the group. And that I would plot many different ways to kill him if I ever got out of here. Yes, I just said 'if'. Because if you hadn't noticed, I'm doubting if I even wanted to get out. If I did make it back to Hueco Mundo and find my way back to Las Noches, I'd just be killed by Aizen, and I wasn't about to give that asshole the satisfaction of killing me. No way in Hell.

"If you want to live, I suggest you talk, Espada. " Kuchiki threatened me, and I almost laughed. Kill me, she says? Please do. But I already knew that if they had had any intention of killing me, they wouldn't have gone through all the trouble of imprisoning me here. Wherever 'here' was. She was simply promising empty threats.

Still, it couldn't hurt to test it, "Well, come on then, Bitch. Kill me if you think you can!" I challenged, working up a more dominant tone. It wasn't as convincing as I would have liked, But I could tell that I'd gotten the point across, as was seen by how her jaw clenched in anger. Point for me, I thought miserably.

With an aggrivated groan, the group turned their attention away from where I was bound, probably either thinking that I was not going to cooperate--Which I wasn't-- or maybe they'd just had enough of me for one night? It didn't matter. Nothing did, but I couldn't help but feel interested in the conversation they were holding.

"So, what're we gonna do with him? It's too dangerous to have an Arrancar locked up down here, escpecially if there's something wrond with him, which could very well be the case" Urahara whispered, but not low enough to keep me out of earshot. I made a small guffaw at the notion. 'Something wrong with me?' Hell, everything seems to be wrong with me! I'm just one huge fuckjob waiting to happen, aren't I? Not that anyone here would understand me.

"Can't we just keep him down here? By the way, why do you even have someplace like this in your basement?" Kurosaki asked, looking around over his shoulder.

"Details, details, Ichigo! What matters is that we do something. Look at him," Kisuke gestured to me with his fan, "I've never seen an Arrancar act like this."

"You seem to have seen a lot of Arrancars." Kuchiki observed.

Kisuke shrugged, "Once upon a time, maybe. But I'll say that I've only seen very few fully developed ones apart fron the large one and the tiny white-skinned one."

I must've growled at him again, because their heads all swiveled to look at me, surprise written all over their faces. It didn't stop me, though, and I snarled like the wildcat I'd once been. I didn't want to hear anyone talk about _him_. I couldn't bear anyone talking about him. I don't like feeling lower than dirt, and I was most certainly almost...frightened by the emotion that rose in my chest.

"Just shut the HELL up!" I roared, "Don't you EVER talk about Ulquiorra again, you filthy Human!" Yes, I was overreacting, and yes, I was being stupid, and no, I didn't give a damn about the former two offenses. It felt good to scream at him, to let out all the frustration I'd buried deep inside me.

Then the female got a downright maleviolent sneer on her face, narrowing her eyes at me from across the dark room, "Strike a nerve, Grimmjow? What is it about this...Ulquiorra?"

There was something in the way she spat his name, the cocky tone and the enunciation of every single syllable that shook me to my core. Not that a Hollow really has a core, right? Regardless, the fighting spirit that had long since abandoned me came roaring back, rearing it's head and baring its fangs at the lady Reaper. I hissed, an oddly animalistic sound only sounding more unnatural coming from my human throat. Tensing my muscles, I broke free of the irksome Kido the girl had placed on me, slaching at her with my sharp nails. I knew how demented I must've looked right then, and still, I didn't give a rat's ass what they thought of me. Hell, I don;t think I cared what I thought of myself, becouse if I could really see what sort of _thing_ my emotions had made me, I knew that I'd be disgusted. Maybe that's why _he_ never showed his, so that he couldn't hurt himself.

"Rukia, stop it." Kurosaki demanded, grabbing Kuchiki by the wrist and pulling her away from me. She made an irritated naise, before stomping out of the room, Ichigo following right behind her.

Urahara offered me a small smile, "I'll have Tessai bring you down some food later," He said, before following the other two out of the room.

I cried.

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**Bwahahaha! Chapter 2!**

**I'm glad to hear that people are liking this story, It makes me glad because this is actually the first Bleach fanfic I've ever written, so thanks for all the incouragement! If you have any ideas at all, Don't hesitate to send them in a review!**

**And speaking of reviews....*wink wink nudge nudge***

**Oh! and Also, I'm thinking about putting the next chapter from Ulquiorra's POV, okay? Tell me what you think!**


	4. Ulquiorra time, so plz don't kill me!

**I just have to say... HOLY SHIT, I UPDATED!!!! I'm sorry it took so long, and this chapter is pretty short, it's only 1600 words. (wow, it's exactly that!)**

**...Does not own.**

-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-

It's cold, like freezing ice running through my veins, yet hot, for each breath I take brings a searing heat to my chest. It's difficult for me to explain my predicament, as it is. It's not painful, it's not dangerous. It's just...unnerving. The space between the worlds had always been a dark, empty void, I'd just never spent time examining it like this.

I look around tiredly. How I bore of these unchanging surroundings. The seamless darkness that entraps me within this hell, disabling my senses, and wearing on my last nerve. Now realize, I like to consider myself a patient person. I was unaware as to how edgy I would become after...however long I'd been trapped in this place.

_'Twenty-one days and seven minutes,'_ My brain supplies me. I vaguely even register the fact that I have been able to keep track of the passed time. It seems I can surprise myself, sometimes.

I do apologize, I realize I've been quite rude to you thus far. My name is Ulquiorra Shiffer, ranked the Cuatro Espada. Twenty-one days and eight minutes ago, I was sealed into an alternate realm (1) by another Espada. One of a lower rank than I. It disgusts me, really it does, to know that I could be overpowered by one such as the Sexta. Up until our latest bout, I had only ever thought of him as an arrogant loudmouth who was horrendously insubordinate and all talk, no action.

I might have let my pride as Fourth get the better of me. What a foolish mistake.

That mistake, was what inevitably led to my current situation. I know that the void will give way eventually, and I'll be finally released back out into the world. However, I don't know where or when, and the endless days of drifting through total and perpetual blackness apparently likes to whittle away at people's self-control. How stupid. Yet I cannot prevent the uneasy feeling that comes over myself.

Fear, defenselessness, vulnerability. That's what I'm feeling right now. I cannot help the way my eyes are searching blindly around, scraping the surroundings, hoping for one single familiar thing. Nor the way I suddenly tense up, not knowing what might be lurking in this darkness that surrounds me.

Silently, I raise a hand, admiring the way my ivory skin seems to be unaffected by the dark. It's as though I myself have become almost...fluorescent. Flexing my long fingers a few times, I grasp at the inky blackness that surrounds me, making no move nor sound as my hand glides effortlessly through the nonexistent space. I briefly wonder what will happen once I am released from here. What will I do to the Espada who caused my misfortune?

Probably nothing, I admit to myself. Aizen-sama would never permit fighting withing his ranks, and I, for all I am worth, would not imagine defying my lord. I doubt I would even if it _were_ permitable. If nothing else, achieving my concealment within this place has earned the Sexta a shred of my respect, if nothing else.

Ah yes, I believe I forgot to mention, the Sexta Espada is a braggart by the name of Grimmjow Jaegerjaques. To be honest, he was never my favourite of the Arrancars. I always found him far too...brash for my tastes. That, and his blatant disregard of Aizen-sama's wishes and orders which annoys me to no end. I always went out of my way to display a fair amount of disdain for him, or so I'd thought. I'm unsure now.

Perhaps it's this time I've had to reflect upon myself. But, now, I'm not sure that I ever truly _hated_ the Sexta. What I truly held for him was perhaps more of an admiration, if I could call it that. I realize that maybe I'd been jealous of his willpower, of the fact that he had conscience enough that he wasn't chained to helplessly following orders, whereas I was, am, and it is foreseeable that I always will be.

Shocking, isn't it? One such as I being reduced to _jealousy_ by one who was such a loose cannon. Of course, I dare not ever speak of this aloud, much less in front of anyone of consequence, and especially not Aizen-sama. I've always tried my hardest to please him with whatever it is I've done, I feel it is the least I can do to the man who made me an Arrancar. To tell the truth, I hated being a Hollow, it was such a _meaningless_ existence, having the horrible urges to lay waste to all I saw. My now humanoid form allows me to make myself useful, and I'm grateful for this fact.

I suppose that this mentality is the cause of my lingering interest in Jaegerjaques. He is the complete antithesis to myself. Carefree and passionate, and forgive me if my latter term confused you; I do not refer to that buffoon with sexual contexts. I mean that he is able to show enthusiasm in what he does. As for me, I believe the word that most appropriately displays myself is: indifferent, and perhaps cold at worst. I do not mean to come off as emotionless, I simply do not wish for any unwanted feelings to come between myself and my objectives.

I let out a deep sigh, feeling oddly...calm. Internally, of course, as I try my hardest to appear as such constantly. I cast a brief glance once again at my surroundings, the odd emerald green of my irises were undoubtedly glowing in the dark. Nothing. Not that I expected there to be anything, after all, I'm quite resigned to whatever falls upon me. I do not question why this happened, as I believe it was inevitable. I brush a thick lock of my hair out of my left eye, but it just falls back, Perpetually held in place by the remnant of my Hollow mask.

"I'm such trash..." I find myself murmuring under my breath, moving a few paced forward for the sake of my limbs not becoming numb. So maybe I do blame myself for this, if only a little. If you know anything at all about me, you are sure to know that I despise weakness and uselessness above anything, and anything that does not meet my criteria of strength is automatically considered 'trash'. I consider myself trash because I allowed myself to become so weak, to the point that Grimmjow was able to subdue me.

I sigh again, for lack of anything else to busy myself with. There is no point in searching for a way out of my prison, as there is none until the void eventually opens of its own volition. There is nothing to spar with, not even another soul within this place to carry on a small conversation with. Yes, I am frustrated to the extent of wishing myself someone to speak with. I, Ulquiorra Shiffer, have become aware of the term, 'lonesome'.

It is incredibly frustrating, having no say in what you can or cannot do. It's enough to drive lesser beings out of their fragile mindsets. Hissing under my breath, I begin to hum a small tune, not even realizing it until after I've added words to the song.

"Soko ni, dare mo ga, hohoemu, hana ga saite iyou tomo, nozomareta no nara fumitsu busu. Soko ni, dare mo ga urayamu, shiawase...(2)" I mutter, finding it amazingly soothing to chant the somewhat depressing lyrics aloud. Perhaps I truly am acting out of my normal range of character; I would never dream of singing at any normal time. It's amazing what people will do when they know they're alone.

"Kibou ni soeru kekka wo narabete, zetsu wo asakeru zettai seishin sou suru koto ga sonzai, riyuu na no ka. Sou suru koto de shika sonzai dekinai no ka, douyara, docchi demo, taishite, kamawanai"

I continue my distraught song for a while more, before a loud hissing sound invades my ears. It's like nothing I've ever heard before. Then, suddenly, I lose my footing. It's the strangest thing, that sensation you get when you're falling. Isn't it? I barely have time to think on this, as my feet slam into something solid, the jarring shock of the fall sending needles of pain shooting up my ankles. I stumble a bit, before rearranging myself into my customary posture.

The sun's light nearly blinds me for a moment as I raise my eyes. I've spent nearly a month in perpetual darkness, my abused pupils are still unaccustomed to the light. Oh wait a moment; there's light here. Obviously that damn dimension decided to open up for me. Perfect.

Stepping forward, I watch the ground curiously, just to make sure that I was actually seeing dirt and grass rather than the inky canvas I'd been confined to. Forgive me if you find this ridiculous, but I'm attempting to somewhat savor the thought of being free again. Or perhaps not. Where _am_ I? Where is Aizen-Sama? I surely must report myself back to him. If he is merciful, I may be spared harsh punishment for my sudden absence.

The scenery around me suddenly clicks in my mind. Karakura Town. Oh, this is just perfect, I huff in a dead tone. It seems I didn't have the fortune to end up in Hueco Mundo. And of course the transition between the dimensions had left me wary and slightly weakened.

I suppose I must seek refuge here, for the time being.

-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-

**I am... thoroughly disappointed in myself after this. I'm not good a writing as Ulquiorra AT ALL. Plus the super slow update. It's been killing me! I'm SO SORRY!**

**(1)- I've got NO CLUE what the actual name of that thingy is. If you know, PLEASE TELL ME!!!**

**(2)- For those of you who don't know, those lyrics were from Our "WORLD", off of the Bleach Beat 3rd thingy. And of course, it's one of the two sung by Namikawa Daisuke, aka Ulquiorra Shiffer. So we're all happy. Or maybe not, that song is quite emo if you can understand it. Here's a vague translation:**

**"Everyone smiles when flowers are in bloom. If I wanted, I could crush them. There, everyone envies the colour of happiness..."**

**"That's what happens when you cling to hope. You set yourself up for despair. I will destroy your absolute soul. Is there a reason for your existence? I will destroy nothing but your existence. Is there nothing you can do? It seems like, even though, it's not much. Not that I care,"**

**...Any thought of him not being emo has been washed from my mind. But seriously, if you don't know the song, go listen to it! CoS OUT!**


	5. Chapter 4 Put up a fight

**Ehehe, sorry. Again. I've had a lot of shit happening in my life, so writing wasn't really a priority. At ALL. Hell, you can even check my freaking Kingdom Hearts fic, it's been neglected too.**

**Ehh, anyway. I just got out of my latest "distraction", my great-grandmother's funeral, (it's ridiculous. She was diagnosed with Leukemia on my birthday, Aug. 17, and dies 2 days later...) and now I'm waiting for my mother to finish up with a meeting before going to the Doctor four my fourth serious ear infection in two months... Yeah, shit's happened.**

**Also, this chapter is UNBETA'd, (sorry, ViciousLoner, but I really just wanted to get this done and updated, it was pissing me off!)**

**BUT, I will be continuing this fic! The updates will probably be slow as hell, but please bear with me! **

**-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-**

_'Ugh, fuck, my head hurts like a bitch...'_

I squinted my eyes as they opened, blinking rapidly to try to accommodate the pounding that was fucking ripping my head in half. Where the hell am I, anyways? Oh, wait, yeah. I remember now. I'm at that bastard Urahara's place, courtesy of Kurosaki and that Kuchiki bitch. Wait... if that happened then that means... aw, _fuck_. I broke. I fucking cracked last night, man, and here I am to show for it. I really need to stop being such a pussy and get on with my afterlife.

Struggling at the chains that bound my legs as I sat up, I placed a cold hand to my forehead, but it still didn't stop the throbbing inside my skull. Do you know that headache you get after you don't eat and then go play sports or you cry for two hours? Yeah, only I've never had to deal with any of this shit before, and it fucking _kills_. How the hell do people put up with their brains pulsing against their skulls?

"Fucking hell...." I muttered crossly, bringing my other hand up to rub my sore throat. I must've really done a number on myself or something; I honest to god can't remember much about what happened last night. Or was it even last night at all? How long have I been out?

_'And you still call yourself a man. Ha! You were bested by a little strawberry-brat and a vertically challenged whore, just admit it.'_ My mind supplied me. Fucking great, I must really be losing my head if I'm resorting to listening to my sub-conscience. _'Or did you really WANT them to do this to you? From what I remember, you came here to do something, amirite?'_

"Fuck off." I groaned, leaning back to rest my head against the stone wall behind me.

_'Oh yes, I remember now. Suicide call, right? Oh Grimmy, how you've fallen. Would you really stoop so low as to try to get yourself killed over what happened?'_

"Fuck off..." I repeated, pinching the bridge of my nose and furrowing my eyebrows. Somebody stop me now, or I fucking swear, I'm gonna lose it. Why the hell am I even giving any of this a thought, huh? I should seriously just ignore the shit that was being said to me, but for some screwed up reason, I didn't. Maybe it's because it was kinda sorta the truth; I really was pathetic that time. A fucking Grade-A patented fuckup, big time. Oh hell, now even _I'm_ berating myself.

_'But you did, didn't you? Yes. And that's the only reason you're trapped here now; your own weakness. There's no one to blame but yourself.'_

"FUCK YOU!" I howled, snapping my neck backwards and causing my head to collide roughly with the cement it was previously resting against. Why the hell did I have to be so screwed up? Of course, bashing my head in didn't do a damn thing to ease my headache; it probably wasn't the smartest thing I could've done. At least that taunting voice was gone. What had brought that up, anyways? Shit, man, I must really be fucked up right now. Why else would there be voices in my head?

Groaning, I rubbed the back of my abused head, running my fingers through my blue locks. At least no one bothered to come 'check' on me after that little outburst. I _really_ was NOT in the mood for any other bullshit right now. I know that if that Kisuke jerk or anyone else bothered to come down, I'd end up being subject to whatever they wanted to throw in my face. And let me get this into all of your heads; You do NOT wanna fuck with me when I'm in a shitty mood.

Unfortunately enough, I couldn't escape. Whatever the hell kind of chain Urahara had tied my ankles up with was definitely not anything ordinary. Number one: I couldn't break it, otherwise I'da been outta here during my little episode the other night. Number two: The thing was sucking up my freaking reiatsu! I'm dead serious! Whatever this metal was, (and I'm assuming that it was one of the shopkeeper's personal inventions, kinda like the Hogyoku that Aizen-bastard stole) It's some totally weird shit. I didn't expect that the stuff could steal my energy, so even if I _did_ manage to break the chains, I doubt if I'd be able to get more than a few feet from where I am now; I wouldn't have any energy left.

Must be fucking karma, come back to bite me in the ass after all these years, and let me tell you; when she bites, she fucking _hurts._

And to think that I'm going through all this right now because of...because of Ulquiorra. I really can't help but think that maybe, that apathetic little Cuatro doesn't deserve it. I mean, come _on_, I'm Grimmjow _fucking_ Jeagerjaques! Since _when_ do I do anything for anyone other than myself, huh? I'm _so_ not denying what I said earlier, I do love that bastard, but I'm doubting my choice to come to Karakura Town. Me? Commit suicide? Feh, that'll be that day when Aizen-bastard comes down offa his high-horse and proclaims all his wrongdoings before the Catholic Church.

And yet it'd happened.

"Augh... What the fucking hell is going on here?" I asked in frustration, dropping my head so that parts of my ice-blue hair fell in front of my eyes. My head hurts so damn much, but I'll be damned to hell before I complain out loud. I can't really remember all of what happened, and fuck, I'm not so sure I want to. Maybe that's why my brains are ripping themselves apart, something to do with the fact that I _obviously_ wasn't in my right mind the other night, and the emotional blow from Ulquiorra, combined with the head trauma I just gave myself from my impromptu date with the wall.

Groaning, I close my eyes. Maybe I just need some time to clear my head.

-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-

ICHIGO POV

Freaking hell, this class is taking forever. Why, oh WHY is today the one day that I can't get out of this class to fight some Hollow? I really need this class to finish before it's time for my lunch break, and it was really tiring to be waiting so long to tell the others the _thing_ I'd been meaning to tell them about all day. It was too crazy this morning to get any words in, courtesy of Keigo and all his retarded glory.

And yes, before you even bother to ask me, the _thing_, is Grimmjow Jeagerjaques.

I could almost laugh at the improbability of this little 'incident'. I wind up with a mentally unstable Arrancar- an _Espada_ no less, basically at my doorstep and trying to get himself killed. Next thing I know, me and Rukia have got him holed up in Urahara's basement dungeon-thingy, and he's all freaking out on Rukia and Urahara for no reason. Well, wait...no, he might've had a reason... something to do with the pasty-skinned Cuatro I'd fought in Hueco Mundo before...Ulqui-something-or-other.

Hence my anxiety to talk to my friends about this problem. I didn't even get a chance to talk to Chad about it, and he's been my best friend for a long, long time. I suppose I'm a little guilty for some reason. I still blame myself for them getting hurt in Hueco Mundo. I feel like...like I should've been able to help them more, so they didn't have to suffer so much. I'm just glad that we made it out with our lives. Or afterlives, depending on how you looked at it.

Sighing, I fingered the strap on my shoulder bag that hung from the back of my chair, running the pad of my thumb along the bumpy fabric. Oh god, just let the bell ring, _please_, let it ring.

_**riiiinnnnngggggggg**_

"Yes!" I cried under my breath as I jumped out of my seat, haphazardly slinging my bag over my left shoulder and dashing over to where Orihime and Uryu were talking. Actually, more like Orihime was exclaiming something animatedly, and Uryu was just listening and playing along. Some things never change, even if it had only been less than a month since we'd successfully rescued Orihime from Las Noches. The Captains and Lieutenants managed to fight off the Arrancar who attacked the fake Karakura Town, and forced them back to Hueco Mundo. It was a lot to take in in such a short time.

"Hey, guys." I greeted, raising one hand in a sort of salute, "You mind coming with me a minute or two? I've got some stuff you need to know."

They looked at each other for a moment, glancing back to look at Chad, who had approached in time to hear what I'd said. A few concerned and confused glances were thrown my way, but I could care less about those at the moment. They stood to follow me, and I spun and left the class room. I figured we needed a more secluded place, what with all the spiritually gifted students at Karakura High.

Eventually, we reached the roof of the school, and it was vacant. Excellent. Now, to break the _interesting _news to my friends...

"What's going on, Ichigo?" Chad asked quietly, looking at me through the dark hair that covered his eyes. Okay Ichigo, breathe, and let's go.

"Grimmjow showed up last night," I began, not really getting my point across, but heck, they're going to ask me what I'm trying to say anyways. I try to be a nice guy, and I'm not just about to bluntly state what happened.

"What?" Uryu asked, narrowing his eyes and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "I thought you said that the Sixth was dead, thanks to the Fifth."

"Well obviously not!" I returned, groaning in exasperation. Of _course_ I'd thought that he was freaking _dead!_ Isn't that what most people assume after they've seen someone cut down before their very eyes? Thank you, Captain Obvious!

"Kurosaki-kun..." Orihime started, wringing her hands together as she spoke, "What happened after that?"

I sighed, "Well, after a fairly short fight, he kinda... broke down, or something. I don't even know. Rukia put a Kido on him, and he blacked out about a minute later, so we took him over to Hat 'n Clogs' place. He's down in another part of the basement right now." I rested my right hand on my hip as I explained, "And I'm seriously confused right now. We've got an Espada on our hands, and he's hella strong. For some reason, he doesn't seem like he wants to put up much of a fight. Even last night, he came nowhere close to seriously hurting me."

"What did he want, then?" Chad asked in his indifferent tone, "It's hard to think that he showed up without a reason."

"I think..." I swallowed, "I think he wanted me to kill him. That's what he told me to do..."

_"Kill me!" Grimmjow screamed at me from where he had fallen to his knees, his Zanpakuto laying untouched a few inches away, "Kill me Goddamnit! Can't you do anything right?!" He seemed truly desperate, almost...begging. It was disturbing, to see one of my strongest enemies collapse in front of me out of despair. Despair that I wouldn't end his life for him._

_He started shaking as he reached a hand out for Pantera, but Rukia stepped on the blade. Knowing Grimmjow, he could have lifted the blade even with my petite friend's weight, but he didn't. It didn't even look like he could gather the strength to stand at the moment._

_"Mind telling us what's going on?" Rukia asked, putting as much force behind her words as possible. She was talking to an Espada, after all._

_Grimmjow didn't answer--not that I'd expected him to, but still. His shoulders heaved worse as he refused to make eye contact with us._

_Rukia twitched, her temper threatening to break through, "Bakudo Number 1: Sai!" She held her hand out toward the distraught Espada, and I watched as his arms were roughly jerked behind his body. Rukia turned to me, her expression nothing short of grim and serious._

_"What do you think we should do with him?" She asked, crossing her arms tightly over her small chest._

_"I dunno," I amended, sparing a glance toward the unmoving Sexta, "He seemed different... what do you think could've been wrong? Still, we need to keep him under constant watch until we can figure out what to do with him." I sighed, closing my eyes tightly and pinching the bridge of my nose. What the hell was going on here?_

_Rukia didn't answer, only turning to look at Grimmjow, who had blacked out where he was kneeling on the ground._

Uryu frowned, fixing me with a stern look over the rim of his glasses, "Why would he do that? It makes no sense, Ichigo."

"Don't you think I realize this?" I shouted, letting my frustration get the better of me for the moment. Did they not think that had been plaguing my thoughts since last night? No, obviously not, "Look, I don't know any more than you do now. If any of you get ideas or anything, feel free to fill me in, okay?"

"Then..." Orihime started, staring at the floor, "Kurosaki-kun, is that why Rukia didn't come to school today?"

I sighed, "No. Actually, she got called back to Soul Society this morning. Apparently something big went down there about a week ago, but they couldn't get a hold of her because of spiritual interference somewhere in the Dongai... Old Man Yamamoto didn't want me sticking my nose into it, for whatever reason." I gave an annoyed huff, but it wasn't _my_ fault; I don't particularly enjoy being left out on things. Things that are more than likely important, no less.

"What could be so important that they needed Rukia... but not you?" Chad asked.

"Hell if I know!" I was getting frustrated with all of these unanswered questions. "Look, I just needed you all to know what we're dealing with right now. I know that the Espada are pretty well disbanded at the moment, but that doesn't mean that more won't come looking for Grimmjow."

"We need to stay on our toes." Uryu agreed, and the rest nodded their heads

"Um, guys?" Orihime waved awkwardly, "The bell's about to ring, and we haven't eaten yet." she pointed out.

As if on cue, the rest of our stomaches grumbled in unison.

We decided to eat, and deal with the issue later.

-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-

GRIMMJOW POV

I blinked groggily as I opened my eyes, for the second time that day. Nothing much had changed, except that my headache had decided to give me some peace. I was still in a fucking wonderful mood, note the sarcasm, it was dark (no-fucking-_duh!_ I'm chained in some old dude's _basement,_ as creepy as that sounds). I'm tired, pissed off, and with nothing, I repeat, _nothing_ to entertain myself. Would it kill them to give me a mouse, or, god forbid, a ball of yarn here?

"What now..?" I wondered aloud, scratching the back of my neck absentmindedly. Under normal circumstances, I'd be bitching my head off right about now. Alas, there's no one here to yell at. And like I said before, I'm pretty much stuck here, thanks to Mr. Stripey-hat and his reiatsu-eating chains.

I let my eyes wander for a bit, seeing...not a lot, actually. The room is pretty much gray, slightly damp, brick. There's a ridiculously long staircase on the other side of the room. You know, one that's so long you can barely see the end of it? Yeah, like that.

But wait!

On the floor, 'bout a foot and a half in front of me, lies my savior! A holy beacon of light, here to save me from my hellish realm!

Yeah _fucking_ right.

Now, before you start asking yourself, "Grimmjow, what the _fuck _are you on?" let me explain; I am freaking _hungry_ right now, and my 'savior', as I have so retardedly put it, is none other than a small plate of food that someone must've brought down while I had (unintentionally) fallen asleep. There wasn't much on the plate, to be truthful. Two rice balls (Onigiri, actually), some curry (Eww! Who the _fuck_ decided to give me _curry?!_), and...wait, this is the best part;

...

FISH! And not that disgusting pickled shit, but pure, untainted, raw fish! Damn, that Kurosaki kid must've tipped them off about my resurecćion or something, 'cause hot damn, there's nothing that I like better than raw fish. Actually, I really fucking hope that's how they know...I really hope that Kisuke guy didn't do 'tests' on me while I slept. I would fucking doubt it neither, I know he's the bastard who made the Hogyôku.

Either way, I completely ignored everything on my plate other than the fish. Mmmm, salmon.

I was halfway through my third piece of fish, when a _thud_ echoed in the back of my mind, followed by the tingling awareness in my Perquisa.

"N-no way..." I said, shocked, I didn't need to think to know who that reiatsu belonged to. It was weak, by its owner's standards, but unmistakable. Ulquiorra. He was here, in Karakura Town. The Caja Negaćion must've just opened!

But, if I know Ulquiorra, he won't stay there for long. He'll want to report back to his precious Aizen-_Sama_. I need to see him! For fucks sake, I'm not going to miss this; he wasn't dead, I hadn't destroyed him! The whole reason for me being here is null and fucking void. And I... I _need_ to see Ulquiorra!

I yanked hard on the chains restricting my ankles, but they wouldn't budge, growling deep in my throat, I punched the wall behind be, leaving a small crack in the stone. Gathering all my rage in my chest, I screamed.

"GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!"

-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-xo-

**Phew! Well, that only took me what, 5 months?! Holy FUCK. But guess what, I'm 15 now! Yaaaayyy. Ugh, maybe my birthday present to myself should be a kick in the ass to get back to writing.**

**Oh, and the next chapter will be STARTING IN ULQUIORRA'S POV, and will probably switch to Grimmy partway through.**

**Read&Review, Loves~!**


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